Gag Avatars

[Anonymous]

posted on November 3rd, 2010, 7:07 pm

Last edited by Anonymous on November 3rd, 2010, 7:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

romulan:
General Paranoia:

all stations start with cloaking devices, are built cloaked, and any ships built are built cloaked and stay cloaked.

ships wont decloak unless fired upon, at which point they pretend to be pakled freighters.

Dominion:
Swarm tactics:
prototypes cost 5 times as much as currently, cloning facilities can produce bugs, mining stations can produce bugs, ketracel synthesizers can produce bugs, constructors and miners can turn into bugs. large yard can produce bugs. research stations can produce bugs. bugs can produce bugs, bugs bugs bugs

bugs get 20% build time reduction and the special weapons of all the other ships. and they no longer have adai.

klingon:
sergeant ktinga
starbase can produce ktinga directly. miners can still ktinga, all 3 small yards can only make ktinga, battle and imperial yards can make only ktinga and vorcha. no research stations can be built. maybe field research, but it cant do research, only make ktinga. of course ktingas can produce ktingas too. ktingas randomly warpin in groups of 90.

this guy loves how he was named after ktingas.

feds:
Captain Maydon:
cant build shipyards, cant build ships other than miners and constructors. cant build research stations. can only build turrets. and only quantum turrets. no puny phaser turrets. quantum turrets cost 50 dil 25 tri and 3 supply. the only viable strategy is to turret walk to the enemy base.

quantum turrets can be upgraded to fire at double artillery range.

---

EDIT:

Tyler, they dont use warp cores, warp core implies a matter/antimatter  reaction, Roms suck power from an artificial black hole.

from memory alpha:

Warp core is the common designation for the main energy reactor powering the propulsion system on warp-capable starships.

warp core doesnt only imply m/a reaction. warp core just means the device that powers warp drives.

they could use large batteries that dont generate power, just store them.

quantum singularities are one source of power that could be used as a warp core. as is a m/a reactor. just cos feds warp cores all are m/a dont mean the rest of us have to use them lol

posted on November 3rd, 2010, 7:08 pm

Romulan Warp cores don't cause temporal problems, unless under special conditions like the presence of certain isotopes.

Well it happend once we don't really know how common it is to say its rare, do we?

posted on November 3rd, 2010, 7:11 pm

Considering it only happened because a certain type of isotope was present in large numbers, it's very unlikely to happen under normal circumstances. Unless it was intentional, at least.

posted on November 4th, 2010, 7:29 am

Fed (Kirk)
The first time a ship gets fired upon it looses engines, weapons, and shields, as well as 50% of its crew (those wearing red shirts).

However, after a few seconds a random special weapon appears, possibly named with words like "inverse", "tachyon", "spread", "maneuver", "kirk", and "quantum".  This special weapon is capable of destroying or disabling all opposing vessels and also restores all disabled subsystems, puts out all fires on the ship, and repairs the squeak on the captains chair!

posted on November 4th, 2010, 9:08 am

Dont forget the special recrew button for the Kirk Avatar!

It has McCoy's face on it, the tooltip says '**** THE GRIM REAPER* amd when you press it, the ship is recrewed.

posted on November 4th, 2010, 12:01 pm

kirk's ships drain crew off the yard it repairs at as it needs more redshirts.

The special sounds like corbomite reflector lol

posted on November 4th, 2010, 5:24 pm

Nah thats not how to deal with the problem just start firing redshirts out of the torp tubes.

[Atlantisbase]

posted on November 5th, 2010, 4:35 am

Last edited by Atlantisbase on November 5th, 2010, 4:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

Chuck Norris (Fed):
After several years of study and historical research, it was found that a man by the name of Chuck Norris from the late 20th century had the power to defeat all evils without breakin a sweat. In the aftermath of the Dominion War and in light of the ever present war against the Borg, Starfleet choose to invest heavily in a project to reproduce the abilities of this historical figure. The end result was a perfect clone of Chuck Norris who was given command of a single, but very powerful vessel.

Special Ships: Roundhouse Class
Specials: Chuck Norris Effect: Chuck Norris is connected directly to his ship, allowing him to temporarily endow the vessel with his god like powers. The offensive and defensive values of this vessel are increased to infinity as the power of Chuck Norris is unleashed. The net effect is all vessels attacked by or which attack this vessel vanish from the map in a series of large explosions.

posted on November 5th, 2010, 5:17 am

Chuck Norris class (Fed):
Special weapon: Roundhouse cannon
The Federation roundhouse cannon fires a concentrated pulsed stream of particles of pure awesome and win which impact great physical force upon the target.
Any vessel that is round house kicked receives the physical impact of a quantum singularity the approximate size of shapely center impacting at warp factor ten.
This contradicts the laws of physics, as the non Newtonian physical laws of subspace do not allow for the kinetic energy of objects traveling at warp velocities to translate to real space more than if the object was traveling at light speed, however it is believed that Q bent the laws of physics to save Chuck the effort of having to kick them, thus cause Q to have to tidy the laws up again whilst also fetching Mr. Norris his god damned sammich.

posted on November 5th, 2010, 6:12 am

Deanna Troi: Federation

All ships now have the Collision ability for every captain has learned their piloting skills from this commander, this ability is always set on full special weapon autonomy and can not be disabled.  Supplies are replaced by chocolate reserve which can be increased by buying expensive amounts of real chocolate from your outpost *Replicated chocolate won't do* When ships encounter an enemy vessel a voice will say There going to fire at us 5 seconds after the computer warning is said.


Admiral Redshirt:
It is unexplained how a redshirt could some how make it up the ranks especially to that of an admiral. All ships now have a chance of a random subsystem destruction as exploding counsels on the bridge take out systems till medical can clean up whats left of the system operator. Ships have a chance to suddenly warp out in retreat when battle happens and can not be warped back in. All ships have a chance of exploding randomly causing damage to all near by ships. Game is filled with tons of screaming, "I Don't want to die" "I think its safe" "Just a routine engine check"

Admiral Janeway:  Federation
All ships have increased supplies cost but have increased stats. All ships have a special ability called coffee carnage,

Coffee Carnage: Begin stuck in the delta quadrant with out a real cup of Jo has caused Janeway to teach Starfleet captains the power of coffee goodness. For a price of supplies weapons fire and system and hull repair are increased by 100% along with coffee jitters. After 60 secs the ship is considered to have a skeleton crew for 30 seconds as every one experiences a caffeine crash.


Admiral Akbar: Klingons
Why he is even in this game is beyond anyone guess and especially for the Klingon's. Akbar bestows all ships with the ability to pick up cloaked vessels and scream "ITS A TRAP" and fire excessively at the target till it explodes. Also all ships have the ability to concentrate fire at on target...cause its the most tactical way to get things done. All klingon voice overs are replaced by admiral Akbar saying random lines such as "Beware of traps" and  "Mon cala...wait Klingon cruiser standing by"

posted on November 5th, 2010, 4:23 pm

It's funny how a joke thread was took srs enough to be moved...........

posted on November 5th, 2010, 5:21 pm

welcome to the forum rivendell8472

hope you enjoy your time in the community.